Gently Used
FOR SALE: Human female body, age 35, gently used. Owner looking to trade up to something more sporty.
Curly brunette, fair skin. Moderately attractive/physically fit (see photo). No tattoos; single lobe piercing, both ears.
Maintainance up to date, including annual physicals and screenings. No known congenital defects or suceptibilities. Cholesterol, blood pressure, and BMI within healthy range. Appendix and wisdom teeth removed, tonsils intact. Non-smoker, social drinker, no hard drug use. Full medical records available on request.
Trades considered. Contact owner with questions/offers -- serious inquiries only.
Please do not contact seller with services or other commercial interests.
You get used to it...
"Another tourist showed up this morning," said Kate. "In the middle of breakfast."
"You’re kidding!" said Angie. "That’s the third this month."
"Fourth, actually."
"How can you stand it?"
"You get used to it, I guess."
"But what does it mean?"
"Well, there’s got to be a reason why they’re coming from the future to see me. Mom’s sure I’m going to be famous some day, and people want to see my childhood. But I don’t know... what if I’m notorious instead? The next Hitler, or Nicole Simpson?"
A ghostly figure materialized, bisected by a wall.
"Please, just ignore him."
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