Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Droubble: Surprise Witness

Surprise Witness

“First Mutual Insurance claims that the damage to my client’s home was an act of God, and thus not covered under his policy. I would like to ask: What do we mean by an ‘act of God,’ in this day and age? Does it refer to a specific god, or is it general?

“Syntax and capitalization are of key importance here. Note the absence of the indefinite article, as well as the capitalized initial ‘G.’ In a general survey of the entire history of literature in the English language, one will find that this construction has a very specific meaning – namely, it is used almost exclusively to refer to the Judeochristian Yaweh, and rarely, by association, the Muslim Allah. If the contract were written, ‘act of a god,’ or ‘act of gods,’ it would be a different case entirely; however, the contract clearly states–”

“Excuse me, sir, but how is this relevant?”

“I was about to get to that. I propose to prove, by a preponderance of evidence, that the storm which damaged my client’s home was not caused by either Yaweh or Allah. Your honor, I call my first witness, one Zeus of Olympus.”

Thunder crashed in the distance.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Did you mean crashed in the last sentence?