Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Droubble: Offset


Today I went down to the farmer's market at lunchtime, to put together a very buy-local, eco-conscious, feel-good lunch: Fresh fruit, a bit of local cheese, and maybe a pastry from that nice old Russian woman. Pretentious, but I can afford it, so why not?

My eye caught on the stall at the end: "Guilt Offsets."

"What are you selling?"

"Well, a lot of us coastal city types feel guilt non-stop. That's fine, but every time you feel guilty, you're adding negative thoughts to the collective psyche.

"There are people all over the country who are totally unmindful of their lifestyles, who are so content that they actually create an ease of mind that functions as a sort of anti-guilt.

"So I visit these people, and arrange to buy their ease of mind. Sure, some of them hear what I'm doing, and realize what you folk feel so guilty about; some end up as customers instead of providers. But that isn't terribly frequent. Usually we buy that ease of mind, and divide it into shares. People like you can buy those shares, to balance their total bad vibe contribution."

"Interesting," I say. "How much?"

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