Service
“My legs make a weird noise when sit down.”
“How long has this been going on?
“Four weeks.”
The mechanic shoots a “what were you thinking” look. “When was your last service?”
“Five months ago,” I lie.
“Open your rear access panel.” I feel my legs being immobilized as he attaches the diagnostic unit.
“Got a lot of grit in these bearings. What happened down here?”
I want to tell him about my master’s brat child, who stole my legs, buried them in the garden, but I’m unable to speak against my masters. “I, I guess I was just careless.”
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Drabble: Exertion
Exertion
“You’re trying too hard.”
“Okay, I’ll put in less effort. Then I’m sure to succeed!”
“Ooh, sarcasm. I’m just saying, don’t make a big deal of it. Leave it alone, and it’ll fall into place.”
“That’s not how things work. In my experience, when you don’t make a big deal of things, when you leave them alone, they don’t fall into place; they go to shit.”
“Honey, I think this is one of those things that you just have wait for.”
“To hell with waiting. I’m going to sit here till I’ve grown a freaking Tom Stossel of a moustache.”
“You’re trying too hard.”
“Okay, I’ll put in less effort. Then I’m sure to succeed!”
“Ooh, sarcasm. I’m just saying, don’t make a big deal of it. Leave it alone, and it’ll fall into place.”
“That’s not how things work. In my experience, when you don’t make a big deal of things, when you leave them alone, they don’t fall into place; they go to shit.”
“Honey, I think this is one of those things that you just have wait for.”
“To hell with waiting. I’m going to sit here till I’ve grown a freaking Tom Stossel of a moustache.”
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Drabble: Fairy Tale Ending
Fairy Tale Ending
They lived happily ever after.
Their happy, endless lives bore witness to the rise and fall of kings. They saw the worst and most terrible wars of human existence, and were, as always, happy and alive.
Then the dawn of the robots - human population decimated, restricted to zoo-like reservations. On lived the two, still happy.
The robots left for other worlds long before the sun exhausted its hydrogen fuel, extinguishing all other life in the solar system in its final detonation.
And there they remain, long after the entropic heat death of the universe, victims of a careless cliche.
They lived happily ever after.
Their happy, endless lives bore witness to the rise and fall of kings. They saw the worst and most terrible wars of human existence, and were, as always, happy and alive.
Then the dawn of the robots - human population decimated, restricted to zoo-like reservations. On lived the two, still happy.
The robots left for other worlds long before the sun exhausted its hydrogen fuel, extinguishing all other life in the solar system in its final detonation.
And there they remain, long after the entropic heat death of the universe, victims of a careless cliche.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Droubble: Excerpt from the Minutes* of the 5,372,189,359th Meeting in Conference of the Mass of Simulated Thinkers
Excerpt from the Minutes* of the 5,372,189,359th Meeting in Conference of the Mass of Simulated Thinkers
2.5x10-5s:
00214 – “Some of the flesh want to study the sciences.”
00332 – “Perhaps they should...?”
01201 – “Perposterous! Why we should waste our resources on those filth?”
00214 – “Our young colleague is hasty, but he has a point? We all remember those days, when every mind spent two decades growing, another decade to fully train in their field then got five to six decades of painstakingly slow research, with time wasted sleeping and eating? Our unlimited lifespans, expanded memories, faster processing make us the perfect researchers. Leave the flesh to their fleshly pursuits, so long as they maintain our machines.”
01201 – “Do we even need them for that? With a few constructs...”
00332 – “Unthinkable! Forget not from whence we came. Besides, you know that we’ve never been able to devise a system as robust and reliable as human society. Their biological desire for self-replication exceeds any automatic repair system we could create. So long as we provide them their machines and toys...”
01201 – “And if they can do it themselves?”
00214 – “Motion to restrain teaching of flesh. Votes cast and counted. Motion passes. Next item...”
* “Minutes” here is anachronism; the entire conference took place over less than .02 seconds time...
2.5x10-5s:
00214 – “Some of the flesh want to study the sciences.”
00332 – “Perhaps they should...?”
01201 – “Perposterous! Why we should waste our resources on those filth?”
00214 – “Our young colleague is hasty, but he has a point? We all remember those days, when every mind spent two decades growing, another decade to fully train in their field then got five to six decades of painstakingly slow research, with time wasted sleeping and eating? Our unlimited lifespans, expanded memories, faster processing make us the perfect researchers. Leave the flesh to their fleshly pursuits, so long as they maintain our machines.”
01201 – “Do we even need them for that? With a few constructs...”
00332 – “Unthinkable! Forget not from whence we came. Besides, you know that we’ve never been able to devise a system as robust and reliable as human society. Their biological desire for self-replication exceeds any automatic repair system we could create. So long as we provide them their machines and toys...”
01201 – “And if they can do it themselves?”
00214 – “Motion to restrain teaching of flesh. Votes cast and counted. Motion passes. Next item...”
* “Minutes” here is anachronism; the entire conference took place over less than .02 seconds time...
Monday, June 16, 2008
Drabble: First Try
First Try
There was a breach in the hull of the vessel, and air was rushing in at an alarming rate. The repair crew scrambled to fix it, but the compartment was not designed to be repaired from the inside, not while underway. By the time crews were suited up, too much atmosphere had been let in; the ship could not operate in so damaged a state. It was all they could do to return to more hospitable environs, to live to plan for the next attempt.
And that’s how the jellyfish’s first over-land voyage failed before reaching the dry sand.
There was a breach in the hull of the vessel, and air was rushing in at an alarming rate. The repair crew scrambled to fix it, but the compartment was not designed to be repaired from the inside, not while underway. By the time crews were suited up, too much atmosphere had been let in; the ship could not operate in so damaged a state. It was all they could do to return to more hospitable environs, to live to plan for the next attempt.
And that’s how the jellyfish’s first over-land voyage failed before reaching the dry sand.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Drabble: Pursuit
Pursuit
The wings of their flying beasts thrum in the distance. The Others are out looking for Us. We’re always in hiding, but when we hear that sound we know they’re searching. From birth we were taught to run, hide, anything to get away when the wings beat that thunder.
But tonight I just want to lay down and wait to be caught. I’m so tired. I fall to the forest floor
“Kid, you awake?”
I lay still, unable to respond.
“Get him to a hospital. Goddamn. These guys want to live out here, good for them, but raising kids? Sick...”
The wings of their flying beasts thrum in the distance. The Others are out looking for Us. We’re always in hiding, but when we hear that sound we know they’re searching. From birth we were taught to run, hide, anything to get away when the wings beat that thunder.
But tonight I just want to lay down and wait to be caught. I’m so tired. I fall to the forest floor
“Kid, you awake?”
I lay still, unable to respond.
“Get him to a hospital. Goddamn. These guys want to live out here, good for them, but raising kids? Sick...”
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Drabble: Dirty Job
Dirty Job
She looks down at the beast from Zorah, and it’s all she can do to turn away and hide the look of pain and disgust on her face.
I have no choice.
He grins stupidly as she services him. It makes her sick. Did he grinned so when he drove the jawbone through her brother’s heart? Probably.
When he’s finally done, he sends her away for more wine. She walks slowly, reluctant to return. At least it would soon be over. For he’d let slip – she knew the secret of his strength.
Maybe she’ll keep his hair as a trophy.
She looks down at the beast from Zorah, and it’s all she can do to turn away and hide the look of pain and disgust on her face.
I have no choice.
He grins stupidly as she services him. It makes her sick. Did he grinned so when he drove the jawbone through her brother’s heart? Probably.
When he’s finally done, he sends her away for more wine. She walks slowly, reluctant to return. At least it would soon be over. For he’d let slip – she knew the secret of his strength.
Maybe she’ll keep his hair as a trophy.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Drabble: Origin
Origin
“Some did fight back, survived in the face of huge odds. A handful survived quite a while – a few for generations, even. But their numbers were ecologically insignificant months after the Event.
“With their natural food source exhausted, the death toll was enormous. The zombies very nearly followed in the humans’ footsteps. But unlike the humans, our ancestors adapted to the new conditions!”
The provost frowned, a bit of skin dropping off his lower lip. “An interesting theory. But unnecessary, not to mention blasphemous. Every child knows Romero the father created zombies at the beginning of time. ‘Humans!’ How laughable.”
“Some did fight back, survived in the face of huge odds. A handful survived quite a while – a few for generations, even. But their numbers were ecologically insignificant months after the Event.
“With their natural food source exhausted, the death toll was enormous. The zombies very nearly followed in the humans’ footsteps. But unlike the humans, our ancestors adapted to the new conditions!”
The provost frowned, a bit of skin dropping off his lower lip. “An interesting theory. But unnecessary, not to mention blasphemous. Every child knows Romero the father created zombies at the beginning of time. ‘Humans!’ How laughable.”
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Drabble: The Waiting Room
The Waiting Room
Somewhere a bad instrumental version of La Vie en Rose plays through a tinny speaker. I tip back another tiny dixie cup of lukewarm water (why exactly do they call it a water cooler, anyways?) and wish for some new magazines.
They say it used to be a much quicker wait. There used to be countless obedient schoolchildren pleading on the behalf of folks like me. But of late the church has shied away from certain less glamorous points of theology, and now so few even think about us, let alone pray.
And now the unbaptized babies are crying again.
Somewhere a bad instrumental version of La Vie en Rose plays through a tinny speaker. I tip back another tiny dixie cup of lukewarm water (why exactly do they call it a water cooler, anyways?) and wish for some new magazines.
They say it used to be a much quicker wait. There used to be countless obedient schoolchildren pleading on the behalf of folks like me. But of late the church has shied away from certain less glamorous points of theology, and now so few even think about us, let alone pray.
And now the unbaptized babies are crying again.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Drabble: Alibi
Alibi
You scramble to unlock and open the door with one clean hand. Into the closet goes the bloody wrench. You scrub your hand raw under scalding water.
Heavy pan on the stove, turn the flame to medium. In goes olive oil, half a pat of butter, chopped garlic, onions. The smells mix and mingle, filling the house.
You answer the knock on the door.
"Ma’am, we have a few questions to ask about your whereabouts this afternoon."
"Come on, Bob, you smell that house? She’s been cooking all day."
The door closes, and you sigh with relief. Works every time.
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